Right now, Nat's eating as if it's the first time he's ever tasted luncheon meat. He's trying to cramp the whole sandwich into his mouth. I can't believe the little rat can eat so much. While I was cooking dinner, he was crying. He thought Mum had left us. I couldn't shut him up so I planted a whole tub of strawberry ice cream in front of him. He cried as he ate it, tears falling into the tub. He asked me why Mummy was angry with him. I had to tell him I didn't know. He thought maybe she and Daddy were fighting over whether to buy him a puppy or a kitten. I didn't answer him. Nat's been wanting a pet for a long time but both Mum and Dad think he's too young. I'm glad they decided not to get him a yapping puppy or a cat that keeps shedding. I just know I'm allergic to cats.

Nat opens his mouth to take another bite. His fingers squeeze so hard a blob of ketchup oozes out the back of the sandwich and drops on the table.

"Nat, don't press so hard. You're making a mess." I get a cloth and return to the table only to find the ketchup blob has found friends.

"Nat." I cuff him on the back of his head but he only giggles. I touch a blob of ketchup with an index finger and smear it on his nose. He shrieks, dropping his food on the table to wipe his nose with the back of his hand.

"How many fingers do I have?" he asks in a sing-song voice, waving his slimy hands at me.

"Ugh, please." I bat them away.

"Jie, how many? How many fingers do I have?"

I mop up the ketchup stains. "Ten, stupid."

Nat bursts into cackles. He only does that when he thinks he's really clever.

"No, no! Jie got it wrong. Jie got it wrong." He sings the words in his own made-up song. He holds up his hands, fingers straight out, thumbs folded. "I only got eight fingers"--he makes fists and gives me the thumbs up sign--"and two thumbs." He laughs some more before wiping his hands on his shirt. What a mess! Pink stains from the ice cream, a patch of yellow from the soup and now ketchup. He always seems to be wearing his food.

The phone rings just then and Nat dashes to answer it.

I chase him. "Nat! Don't you dare. Your fingers are dirty." Just managing to grab his shirt, I yank him away from the phone, before picking it up.

"Hello?" My voice is a little breathless.

"Allie?"

"Dad?" I feel my stomach flip. Questions start pouring through my mind. I try to voice one out but all I manage is "Dad, how are you?"

"I'm doing fine. Are you and Nat okay?" he asks. I glance at my little brother. He's hopping about, one hand tugging at my shorts. I shoo him away with a foot.

"Nat's just being his pesky self."

"Don't bully him." Dad always says that but this time it sounds like he means it.

"Have you had dinner?" he asks.

Should I tell him Mum didn't cook? "We're having dinner right now. Want me to go get Mum?"

Dad coughs. Then, "No need. Actually, I wanted to talk to you."

Nat yanks my shorts so hard they slide below my butt.

"Hey!" I slap his hands away. "You idiot!" I shove him away and pull my shorts back up.

"Allie! Don't shout!"

"Sorry, but he pulled down my shorts."

"Let me say hi to Nat first. Then I'll talk to you."

I growl, then hand over the phone. Nat takes it and sticks his tongue out as he takes it, then starts telling Dad how mean I am to him. Then he asks for a new Lego set. I watch his expression slowly fall. There's a moment of silence before the little monster returns the phone. I take it and he walks straight into our room. For a moment, I wonder what Dad said to him.

"Dad, I'm back." I want to ask him why Mum has been crying; why Mum didn't give tuition; why Mum didn't cook dinner; why everything feels wrong; why his tone is so sombre... But my mouth is dry.

"Allie, I don't know how to put this..."

His voice is soft. I press the receiver harder against my ear and hold my breath. I've never heard Dad so hesitant.

"What is it, Dad? Is Mum dying?"

"Where did you get that idea from?" he chides me. That's better. Closer to the Dad I know.

"She cried all afternoon. She didn't even give tuition."

"Really?"

"Yeah, and she hasn't eaten dinner." I decide on the spot not to say that I cooked. He'll be really angry Mum didn't make dinner.

"Allie, you're the only sane person in the house right now. I want you to take care of your mother. Promise?"

"Dad, what's going on?"

Dad sighs and says, "Your mother and I have decided on something."

Do I want to hear this?

"Decided what?" My voice is shakier than I want it to be.

Dad clears his throat. "Your mother and I have decided that we need to be apart from each other for awhile."

My knees go soft. I have to rest against the side table or I'll fall. It feels as if all the oxygen in my head suddenly disappeared. The room goes dark for just a second. My arm goes soft and I have to rest the receiver in my lap. Be apart for awhile? What does that mean?

"Allie? Are you there?"

"Um." I put the phone back to my ear.

"Do you understand what I've just said?"

"Are you leaving us?"

"No, of course not. I'll never leave you. I'm your father. I'll always be your father. But Mum and I just need to be by ourselves, away from each other for a little while."

"Are you getting divorced?" I spit the words out, faster than I can stop them.

"Don't be silly. We just need to think about our lives and we can't do that when we're together."

I clutch the phone with both hands. "So you are coming home, right?"

"Yes. This Saturday. But only to get my things."

"Only to get your things?" I feel as if someone has tied weights around my stomach. "What do you mean? Are you staying somewhere else?"

"Yeah. In a hotel."

I can't imagine Dad in the same country but not sleeping at night in the same room as Mum. There's something just so wrong with that picture.

"I have to go now. We'll talk when I come home, okay?"

I'm speechless.

"Allie?"

"Yah."

"We'll talk okay?

"Yah."

"And don't tell Nat yet. I want to talk to him personally."

"Okay."

"Allie, don't sound so stunned. This is only temporary."

I can feel something in my brain go pop, like a balloon peeling.

"Temporary! My life is cracking up and you say it's temporary!"

"Don't yell at me, Allie!"

I slam the phone down. I can kill him. Slumping to the floor, I cover my face with both hands. I can kill him. Why is he doing this? The phone rings, jarring me from my thoughts. Should have known he'll call right back. I lift up the receiver just enough to let the call come through then slam it down. I go back to crying but the phone rings again. I yank the phone jack from the socket. That should stop him. What's that sound? It seems there're echoes of the phone ringing around the house. Oh no! It's the extension in Mum's room. What if Mum picks up? Where's the phone jack? I pick it up and aim for the socket in the wall. Too late. The ringing has stopped. I abandon the phone, hurry over to Mum's door and press an ear against it. Can't hear anything. I don't even know if Mum has hung up or not. Nat comes out of our room to stand beside me.

"Jie, what's going on?"

I take him by the shoulders and lead him back into our room. "I wish I knew. I really wish I knew."